Today has reinforced why I chose to come to USC, but more importantly why I came to college. Today my favorite professor yelled at me and put me in my place.

Professor Bonner has always been the professor I joked around with outside of class and definitely during accounting class. We would email each other back and forth until the thread extended to 8 replies about learning Chinese, her family, Bikram Yoga, and the beauty of mixed children (white/asian). One time she even started with “Yo Wilson.” I would always reply to her class emails with comments either random, witty, or both. During class I would do the same verbally, and she would time and time again tell me to “SHUT UP, WILSON, PAY ATTENTION!” But like the last 10 times, I would treat it like a reflex and habitually ignore every word she uttered. As loud as she was, the words for some reason meant absolutely nothing. Not because I didn’t like her. It was quite the opposite – I liked her too much. In fact, she is my favorite professor at USC yet.  Maybe, I was too comfortable with her…

Few days ago, she formally emailed me to set up a meeting to “talk about a few issues.” She has never been formal with private emails. I was worried, so I agreed and asked for the reason. And she replied, “I was never able to come up with any tactic to get you to stop. I need to have a better understanding of what’s going on with you.” Now, that drew shivers down my spine. I have always thought I was on her good side, and perhaps even her best side.

Come last day of class, Professor Bonner invites me back to her executive office to talk about those “issues.” Still in disbelief, I continue to joke around with her. In the elevator, I told her I was 17, and she believed me for a second, then I said jk, then she said I was a savant. Haha, at this point I knew the whole “issue” was probably going to be a surprise. Perhaps, she was going to reward me with something. Right when we walked into her office, she tells me that she wants to lower my grade. I’m standing here thinking this must be the worst joke. She said it with a straight face, and she meant it. The reason is that I have been unprofessional all semester. More specifically, She says that I have disrespected her. She asked me, “If a CEO was presenting, would you ever interrupt?” Naturally, I replied “Never.” And she said, “Then, why would you do that in my class?” And right then, the atmosphere shifted from laughs and giggles to an earnest one. I relaxed my smile and I tilted my head down. I let her know that she is my favorite professor at USC. And she replied, “Then, why do you disrespect the professor you like the most?” I was without words. I teared up a little, but not enough to be detected.

She proceeded to educate me about the importance of being professional, aware, and tactful of what comes out of my mouth. She complimented my people skills and my ability to network with classmates and recruiters. She even enjoyed my jokes, but she said that there will be times where I will get carried away and end up losing control. My playful approach to flirt with recruiters might have worked in the past, but all it takes is overstepping once with an authority figure who doesn’t appreciate it. And the worst part is that I won’t even realize when that happens, despite seemingly good feedback in body languages and smiles. Apparently, it has happened in her class. But if it happens in corporate world, consequences are not just a reprimand or a letter grade, but instead in terms of dollars or your job. This idea shook me. Ask anyone, in the last few weeks I have been spinning more web than Darwin’s Bark Spider – networking has never been so effortlessly successful. But her words challenged my approach and my strengths. She put me in my place. She humbled me.

She said, I remind her of her son Thomas. We’re both networking monsters, but we don’t know when to stop. We are unable to see the limits, and we constantly cross lines mistakenly. My mom has been telling me I “talk too much.” And both have essentially said the same thing. I guess it takes a nonfamilial individual to knock some sense in me.

These are lessons that are not taught in the classroom, but somewhere in between. I am glad I have met a professor – and a friend – who is critical with caring intentions. I have realized the importance of talking and listening. Silence really is golden. But knowing when to “shut up” is career-saving.

 

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